Malky’s Story

Malky tells his story from chaos, addiction and his darkest moment to recovery, repair and redemption.

“I thought people either died or went to prison.”

 “I think everyone deserves a second chance. Things are nae black and white. Nobody wakes up and decides to be a criminal.”

“My mum and dad split up when I was sixteen, my mum had a nervous breakdown, my dad moved away, we had to sell the family home, I’d just left school and I was looking after my gran who had dementia. I was a sixteen year old boy who didnae, didnae know what he was doing, didn’t have any guidance, nothing. And that’s when I started using substances.”

“I didnae feel like I fitted in. I got involved with a group of lads, and I remember the first thing I’d done, I’d smashed a car window, and I thought I was great, and I thought I was a bit mad. With other people were going to college or going to work, me and a friend were drinking, selling drugs and partying, like we were sort of rock stars, man, without being able to play an instrument”.

“Community service was harder than prison. Prison was quite easy, to be honest. Just having that structure, I’d never had it before, never had those boundaries fae a young age. And I had a bed, had a place to sleep, I had somewhere that was mine, and it was probably the most peaceful five months of my life. I deserved to go to prison for what I’d done, but there should be work around it.”

“Looking at what support networks there are when you go out, because people come out with the best intentions in the world, there’s a false environment in prison, and then you’re having to come out and look for a property, and you’re looking for somewhere to stay, you’re looking for your benefits, and you’re looking for, you’re going to go back to the same network of friends, you’re going to go back into the same situations, how’s that going to help? “

“I’d lost everybody, I’d pushed away. I’d had my, I’d lost access to my son, and that’s when I ended up suicidal, and that’s when I turned my life around. When I went to treatment, I thought ‘Yeah, I’m going to come back and work here.”

“Within three years, here I am now, managing a project, and I’ve been free of substances, it’s been over nine years. People think putting down the alcohol or the drugs, that’s the main thing, but that’s just the beginning. I’ve got to deal with all the stuff that I’ve done, there are people out there who don’t forgive me for what I’ve done, and I’ve got to accept that.“

“Exercise is one of my coping strategies, along with talking about things. I used to walk around, saying that I was fine – I was furthest away from fine that you could imagine. Everybody else knew it, whereas now, I talk about everything.”

“Physically, people don’t see the same me as they did before, but it’s the same person staring back at me in the mirror, you know, I’m still the same guy from back then, in terms of what I see. I’m a million miles away fae that person, and I’m quite happy with that, and I don’t intend to go back.”